Seeing it back on the market, we felt like maybe this was a divine sign that this was the house we were supposed to have... so, first thing Monday morning, we had our realtor draw up papers and I spent the morning running around to get the papers filled out -- to my parents' house to use their printer since ours was out of ink, to my husband's school to catch him on his lunch hour so he could sign each page, and then, thankfully, just to the office of his school to fax them (thank you, nice secretary!) -- all in the lunch and naptime hour.
And then, that afternoon, a call from the realtor: We didn't get the house. The sellers didn't even LOOK at our offer.
All of that work.... all of that feeling of divine intervention... for nothing??
I hung up the phone and shed a couple of tears while preparing dinner -- completely frustrated. Why did we even bother going through all of that running around and paperwork?
As I chopped the garlic for dinner, a thought came to me. Not necessarily an answer, but a comfort nonetheless:
...for we know that it is by bgrace that we are saved, after all we can cdo. (2 Ne 25:23)
After ALL that we can do. With this house that we love, we've done all that we can do, and now we have to continue on in faith and leave it in the Lord's hands, knowing that He loves us and He wants us to be happy, but also knowing that He expects us to do our very best, to work for the worthwhile things in life. Even the strongest belief can't help you win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket. :)
The concept of doing all that we can applies both to spiritual topics as well as to topics of everyday emotional and mental well-being -- which are often very hard to separate. :)
As a parent, I teach my children and love them and do all that I can for them to teach them correct principles, to raise them to be respectful and kind, to help them to not embarrass themselves (or me) in public. But there comes a point when I have done all that I can do and I have to let them exercise their agency and make their own mistakes -- and hope that they will learn to trust our Heavenly Father so that he can make up for where I lack. (My little babies won't be fully on their own for quite a while, though. :)
As a wife, I do all that I can do love my husband and keep our marriage strong. I cannot preserve and sanctify our marriage on my own. For our marriage to be its best, my husband also needs to be doing all that he can do. And, in turn, as we both do our very best and do all that we can, we rely on the Lord to help us as well.
As a follower of Christ, I do all that I can do live the best and most virtuous life that I can, repenting and then relying on Christ's atonement to span the gap between my best and the perfection that is necessary for me to return to His presence.
Right now, I don't know why things work out the way they do, why we would feel so strongly about that house for naught. Maybe at some point I will know, but maybe not. That's not so important. What's important is knowing that I've done my best. And what's more MacGyver than that? :)
