My dear friend Heather is back again today to share another dose of her real-world love and wisdom. Give her a warm welcome back...
In today's world, when we become dissastified or frustrated or bored with our lives, it is exceptionally easy to create a false reality to live in or someone elses to covet. Social networks, blogs, text messaging, and plain, old-fashioned, everyday interactions can make the lives of those around us look wonderful and at times perfect. Appearances can be decieving.
Even though your friend may look perfectly put together, and her children are wearing adorable coordinated clothes, and they drive a nicer car than you, and her house is immaculately clean at any given time... that does not for even one second mean that her life is perfect, or "better" than yours.
NO ONE, I repeat NO ONE has a perfect life. You may not know about a struggle with depression going on behind the scenes, or a chronic illness or condition being dealt with. Perhaps a battle with keeping a marriage happy and together or struggle with infertility is affecting someone that you are unaware of. And even if they are not dealing with something at this moment, their time will come.
It's easy to have moments of "perfection": the hour you spend on vacation playing together and taking pictures, or the one decent dinner you manage to turn out in a week or more and decide to post about, or a new haircut that you have been waiting months to get. Those are all things that are perfect in their own moments.
And naturally, we want to share our triumphs and happy times with others. It is much harder to admit our weaknesses and and share our failures, plus it tends to be a bit depressing. But ironically, focusing on and comparing ourselves to others is also depressing.
Don't judge others, or yourself, on superficial information. If all
someone had to judge you by was your facebook updates, what would they
think of you? We all have baggage; some peoples' are heavier than
others. Sometimes there are even hurts that never go away, like the
loss of a parent, child, or loved one that everyone else forgets about
over time, but for those closest, the pain can stay very real long long
after the loss.
If we allow ourselves to believe the lie that we are not as good as those we see, we can start down a very dangerous path.
Take me for example. If by some chance I have happened to fool anyone into believing I've got it all together or something, there are some things you should know. I am not a good housekeeper, I have piles of dirty dishes and laundry and stuff around at any given time. I am not very patient sometimes, and at times I let it get the better of me. I lost my mother at age 14 and I envy everyone lucky enough to still have theirs. I have a problem saying no to pretty fabric and paper. And I don't always remember to brush my teeth.
But, there are many good things in my life. And I do try to focus on them. I have a husband and daughter who in my eyes are pretty darn wonderful and we love each other very much. I love all things crafty (except cross stitching, my impatience gets in the way) and I am fairly good at them. I also enjoy cooking and do pretty well there too. I also like people and am generally comfortable in social situations. And, I have been told, that I give off an air of general happiness.
Now, if you only knew about my strengths, it would be easy to imagine that I had few weaknesses. But it wouldn't be true. And I am willing to bet an awful lot of cookies that the same is true for each and every person that you and I know.
Life is not a competition. That kind of high school mentality has NEVER led to happiness. As a little girl I was lucky enough to have parents who told me "The only person you should compare Heather to is Heather". In other words, you are the only measuring stick your should EVER use to judge yourself with. Who cares if Pretty Patty Perfection next door had her Christmas shopping for this year finished back in April. Or if her skin appears flawless at any given time. Or if she runs 10 miles every day? None of those things make YOU any less of the wonderful person YOU are.
Just tell yourself the next time you get discouraged by someone elses seemingly perfect life, you don't know the whole story. That picture of their cute baby might have taken an hour of crying to get, or years and years of trying to get here, or both. Don't let yourself sink too deeply in the lives of others. Take some time to live your own life, and maybe even make it more like you'd like it to be. And maybe don't be so unwilling to admit to others some of the chaos going on behind your scenes :)
One last thing. I truly believe with all my heart and soul that a loving God created each and every one of us. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He sees the beauty and potential he placed within each of us. There is no fooling him, for good or bad. He wants us to be happy, no matter our circumstance. He loves EVERY one of us, and wants us to learn to have that same love for each other. So just remember the next time you are discouraged or disgusted by someone elses life, to look through God's eyes. Try to see yourself and others the way he sees us. You'd be surprised just how much the picture changes :)
Showing posts with label Housewife MacGyver. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Housewife MacGyver. Show all posts
Housewife MacGyver: Raising Spiritually Self-Reliant Children with Jocelyn of We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ
The ever-awesome Jocelyn of We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ is here today to share with us the steps to becoming spiritually self-reliant and helping our children to become so as well. Jocelyn does the most awesome activities with her children, she posts the best holiday book lists for kids, and she can pull off Nanny McPhee with style. :)
It can be tough for parents today to tackle the issue of raising spiritually self-reliant children, when we don't feel spiritually sound ourselves. But how important is it to teach our children to be spiritually self-reliant? Consider this:
This post is part of the Housewife MacGyver series on just Lu. Read more about Housewife MacGyver and see all the posts in the series here.
It can be tough for parents today to tackle the issue of raising spiritually self-reliant children, when we don't feel spiritually sound ourselves. But how important is it to teach our children to be spiritually self-reliant? Consider this:
A child who is spiritually self-reliant will be able to more easily figure out how to deal with a bully, how to seek out healthy relationships, how to deal with the problems of life, and how to fix their own mistakes. (Let's face it, we all make-em.) So how important would it be in your mind for your children to have these skills? Right...very.
Hopefully, if you feel unstable in this area of your parenting, you can follow these simple steps right along with your children and grow, as a family, to become just as capable of changing a tire or sewing on a stray button as you are charting a safe and happy path through life.
Her are six steps to raising spiritually self-reliant children...and becoming spiritually self-reliant yourself:
1. ...know God's laws (know the laws of the land, laws of your family...basically, understand what is expected of you).
2. ...know who you are (know why you are here, know your strengths/weaknesses...know your personal mission/goals).
3. ...know how to communicate with God (know how to pray, know how to ask for help from others).
4. ...know how to feel the Holy Ghost (know how you feel inside normally and what it means when you feel something different, know how to communicate those feelings to others).
5. ...know how to make your own (good) choices (have experiences having responsibility over your own actions).
6. ...know how to fix your mistakes (starts with knowing how to clean up your own spills and continues to knowing how to apologize to others, how to make restitution, how to ask for help from the Atonement of Jesus Christ).
Raising spiritually self-reliant children or being spiritually self-reliant yourself doesn't mean that you have the answer to every question in parenting or in life that presents itself. It does however mean that you have the confidence, ability, and know-how to seek out the correct answers and from the best sources.
In my religious perspective, we "talk of Christ and rejoice in Christ" so that our children will know where to look for answers to every dilemma they may face, so they can ultimately become spiritual entities unto themselves. Whatever your spiritual-leanings may be, you can help raise spiritually self-reliant children by expressing the spiritual laws you live by, by helping them to discover the unique person that they are, by teaching them how to pray, by encouraging them to listen to their heart, by allowing them to make some decisions entirely on their own from an early age, and by giving them the tools necessary to fix their own mistakes.
Raising spiritually self-reliant children or being spiritually self-reliant yourself doesn't mean that you have the answer to every question in parenting or in life that presents itself. It does however mean that you have the confidence, ability, and know-how to seek out the correct answers and from the best sources.
In my religious perspective, we "talk of Christ and rejoice in Christ" so that our children will know where to look for answers to every dilemma they may face, so they can ultimately become spiritual entities unto themselves. Whatever your spiritual-leanings may be, you can help raise spiritually self-reliant children by expressing the spiritual laws you live by, by helping them to discover the unique person that they are, by teaching them how to pray, by encouraging them to listen to their heart, by allowing them to make some decisions entirely on their own from an early age, and by giving them the tools necessary to fix their own mistakes.
Housewife MacGyver: The Loneliness of Depression by Andi of Jane of All Crafts
Today our guest is one of the spunkiest bloggers I know: Andi from Jane of All Crafts. Andi often cracks herself up in her blogs posts (by her own admission), and, without fail, she cracks me up too!
I asked Andi here today to share with us a different topic though, not about humor or crafts...about depression. Because emotional health isn't all rainbows and lollipops, and because depression is so very real and affects more people than we know. I'm so grateful that Andi is willing to share part of herself with us today!
Since Andi sent me this post, she's decided to take a little time off blogging to make her health a priority, so read what she has to say here and then, would you be so kind as to pop over and offer her some love and encouragement? Thanks!
Hi Just Lu followers! I'm Andi from Jane of all Crafts. I blog about all kinds of crafts, DIY, sewing etc. You name it, I probably blog about it. Like my blog title suggests I am a jane of all crafts, master of none :) Aside from my crafting adventures I sometimes get a little personal on my blog and share some things about my family and I. Anyone who knows me knows that I am an open book. What you see is what you get. I wear my heart on my sleeve and have nothing to hide. So once I started to get some loyal followers I thought it was time to share something that is a part of my everyday life and Lu asked me to be here today to share it with you as well. Here is an excerpt from that post.
This particular subject definitely isn't something that defines me but is a part of who I am. I have depression. I take medication (sorry Tom Cruise). It never was an issue, except the occasional blah day, until after Natalie was born. I didn't realize until after the fact that I had had post partum depression. Natalie was 3 when I decided that I needed to try medication. Most days are great, some days not so much. Today has been one of those days. For some reason I just feel sad. It's like this deep gut feeling. I really can't describe it. It sucks away my motivation. I am overwhelmed with thoughts of failure. As I type this I worry what you will think of me and if you are asking yourselves, why is she telling us this? I am having a very difficult time writing this post because until you have had depression it is hard to explain what it feels like to have it. I always tell people that you don't know you are in it until you are out of it, if that makes sense? It's this vicious cycle that just compounds on itself. You feel depressed so you don't want to do anything, then the guilt and self loathing sets in which only makes the depression worse which starts the cycle all over again only worse. It is a very lonely place. I know what it feels like to be numb to everything and feel hopeless. Thinking that you will never get better, you will never figure it out.
Yep, I have depression. And yes, it has been extremely challenging to deal with at times. Although I am learning to better cope with the love and support of my family, friends, doctors, and therapists. The hardest thing for me has been self acceptance. I know having depression doesn't make me any less of a person then someone who doesn't, but I still have days where I ask why me? Why on top of everything else that life throws at me do I have this too? And there is a part of me that is ashamed. Ashamed that I can't do this without taking medicine. Ashamed that I'm not "normal". Sometimes I feel like I just need to suck it up and move on like everyone else does. Then a tiny voice inside my head yells "Snap out of it!" "Depression isn't who you are, you are so much more." I don't always listen to that voice and this road to acceptance is rough but I figure at least I'm making the journey.
Whether or not you have depression all of us can relate to learning to accept things about ourselves we cannot change. For most of us it's an ongoing process. It's important to know that even though there are things we don't like about ourselves we are not defined by them. Learning to except the the hand we've been dealt and choosing not to be so self critical I think is an important step to self reliance.
Like the serenity prayer says,
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
You will get through this.
You deserve to be happy and healthy.
I am here if you need to talk, andi@janeofallcrafts.com
This post is part of the Housewife MacGyver series on just Lu. Read more about Housewife MacGyver and see all the posts in the series here.
I asked Andi here today to share with us a different topic though, not about humor or crafts...about depression. Because emotional health isn't all rainbows and lollipops, and because depression is so very real and affects more people than we know. I'm so grateful that Andi is willing to share part of herself with us today!
Since Andi sent me this post, she's decided to take a little time off blogging to make her health a priority, so read what she has to say here and then, would you be so kind as to pop over and offer her some love and encouragement? Thanks!
Hi Just Lu followers! I'm Andi from Jane of all Crafts. I blog about all kinds of crafts, DIY, sewing etc. You name it, I probably blog about it. Like my blog title suggests I am a jane of all crafts, master of none :) Aside from my crafting adventures I sometimes get a little personal on my blog and share some things about my family and I. Anyone who knows me knows that I am an open book. What you see is what you get. I wear my heart on my sleeve and have nothing to hide. So once I started to get some loyal followers I thought it was time to share something that is a part of my everyday life and Lu asked me to be here today to share it with you as well. Here is an excerpt from that post.
This particular subject definitely isn't something that defines me but is a part of who I am. I have depression. I take medication (sorry Tom Cruise). It never was an issue, except the occasional blah day, until after Natalie was born. I didn't realize until after the fact that I had had post partum depression. Natalie was 3 when I decided that I needed to try medication. Most days are great, some days not so much. Today has been one of those days. For some reason I just feel sad. It's like this deep gut feeling. I really can't describe it. It sucks away my motivation. I am overwhelmed with thoughts of failure. As I type this I worry what you will think of me and if you are asking yourselves, why is she telling us this? I am having a very difficult time writing this post because until you have had depression it is hard to explain what it feels like to have it. I always tell people that you don't know you are in it until you are out of it, if that makes sense? It's this vicious cycle that just compounds on itself. You feel depressed so you don't want to do anything, then the guilt and self loathing sets in which only makes the depression worse which starts the cycle all over again only worse. It is a very lonely place. I know what it feels like to be numb to everything and feel hopeless. Thinking that you will never get better, you will never figure it out.
Yep, I have depression. And yes, it has been extremely challenging to deal with at times. Although I am learning to better cope with the love and support of my family, friends, doctors, and therapists. The hardest thing for me has been self acceptance. I know having depression doesn't make me any less of a person then someone who doesn't, but I still have days where I ask why me? Why on top of everything else that life throws at me do I have this too? And there is a part of me that is ashamed. Ashamed that I can't do this without taking medicine. Ashamed that I'm not "normal". Sometimes I feel like I just need to suck it up and move on like everyone else does. Then a tiny voice inside my head yells "Snap out of it!" "Depression isn't who you are, you are so much more." I don't always listen to that voice and this road to acceptance is rough but I figure at least I'm making the journey.
Whether or not you have depression all of us can relate to learning to accept things about ourselves we cannot change. For most of us it's an ongoing process. It's important to know that even though there are things we don't like about ourselves we are not defined by them. Learning to except the the hand we've been dealt and choosing not to be so self critical I think is an important step to self reliance.
Like the serenity prayer says,
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
And to anyone who is reading this that suffers from mental illness I want you to know that you are not alone and there are people out there who understand and who will support you. Depression is a very lonely illness. If you haven't talked to someone about how you are feeling find someone you trust and talk to them. Don't stay trapped in your own thoughts.--Reinhold Niebuhr
You will get through this.
You deserve to be happy and healthy.
I am here if you need to talk, andi@janeofallcrafts.com
Housewife MacGyver: Keeping a Marriage Strong with Tera's Tidbits
Today I have the great pleasure of introducing you to Tera, one my best friends and favorite people in the whole world. I have to include the whole world part because she is currently living in Germany! She shares her European adventures with her four kids at her blog, Tidbits from Tera. Tera and her family are the friends whose wisdom and example (and fun!) stick with you long after your daily interactions with them are past. I am so grateful to have Tera as my friend and here today as my guest!
September ten years ago, the world watched with horror as this happened:
At the same time, I was preparing for the arrival of friends and family to join me for this event:
Erick and I were married two days after 9/11. Some siblings didn't make it because all commercial flights had been cancelled. My father, who was performing the marriage, made it only because we postponed the ceremony by eight hours. That gave him enough time to finish his 18-hour drive straight from where his flight had been grounded. I found myself clamoring to make everything work: adjusting the wedding breakfast to be before the ceremony instead of after; finding something to wear to the breakfast since I would no longer be wearing my wedding dress; contacting the photographer and praying that she would be available for a last-minute change... You get the idea.
The worry and change and stress were intense. But somehow the day turned out perfectly in the end. Despite the chaos in the world and even in my own life, I was married that day to a wonderful man. We were blessed by and surrounded by wonderful family and friends. Erick and I found a way to be together, and it was perfectly romantic.
Little did I know that my wedding experience was foreshadowing what my life would be like in the years to come. Did we experience another 9/11 tragedy? Definitely not. But Erick and I faced other challenges in our years together. To name a few... We moved eight times in ten years due to career changes and job placement. Erick lost his job one week after our second child was born and had no prospects for another job in the region. Erick joined the military and departed for a year of mandatory training while I attended school full-time and cared for our three children.
Through each challenge, we have been able to adjust and rearrange our situation to make it work. And though we have experienced these challenges and many more, somehow Erick and I continue to find ways to grow closer.
Here are a few things we do to strengthen our marriage:
Words can hurt
Something Erick and I decided to do even before we were married was to watch what we say to others about each other. I am quick to praise Erick to my friends and family. I find his strengths and share them happily. Is my husband perfect? Nope. Am I perfect? Even less so. But I do not criticize him to others. I don't share negative things about him with others. I even watch what I post on the internet. How easy is it these days to post a cutting comment on facebook during a moment of frustration?
This commitment to one another has protected our relationship. We know that we can confide in one another, and we know that our confidences will be kept. It has also helped us to consistently look for the good in each other. And after days and weeks and now years of looking for the good in my husband, it is easy to find. And constantly finding good within him makes me love him all the more.
Agree to disagree
During our first year of marriage, I was very difficult to get along with. I know Erick would never say so, but it was a tough year for him. I was overbearing and emotional. The reason? I believed that my way of doing things was always the best. The problem? Erick didn't believe that my way of doing things was always the best. Of course it was best most of the time... but not always. (ha ha)
For example, we had heated discussions about Sabbath day observance. I was very opinionated about what we should and should not do on Sunday. The problem? Football. Erick loves football. It is a true passion of his. He played in high school and in college. He has followed college and professional football most of his life. When his team plays on Sunday, he wants to watch it. I struggled with this. I felt like watching football on Sunday was a far cry from "keeping the Sabbath Day holy." Whenever he turned on the TV to watch a game or even check the score, I felt anger and bitterness toward him. (See? I told you I was difficult.)
During one of our discussions regarding this issue, Erick read me the eleventh Article of Faith, which states, "We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may." Erick taught me that this does not only refer to people outside of our own faith, but people who share our faith. We know the commandments. We have the counsel from our prophet. Now it is up to us to obey those commandments in the way that we see fit. His counsel has stayed with me.
Which of us was at greater fault? The one who turned on a television or the one who cast judgement and had anger in her heart? I realized that my anger was the cause of contention, not the football game. I love Erick very much. He is a good, honest, and kind man. He doesn't drink, smoke, cuss, or abuse. He serves others. He is tender and loving. He is an amazing, supportive husband and father. He does so much good. Why should I dwell on such an insignificant difference of opinion?
There have been other (fairly minor) things in life that we don't agree on. We are aware of our differing viewpoints, and we respect each other's opinions. But instead of judging one another, we strive be loving and tolerant. We have learned to agree to disagree. And I believe we are both better for it.
During our first year of marriage, I was very difficult to get along with. I know Erick would never say so, but it was a tough year for him. I was overbearing and emotional. The reason? I believed that my way of doing things was always the best. The problem? Erick didn't believe that my way of doing things was always the best. Of course it was best most of the time... but not always. (ha ha)
For example, we had heated discussions about Sabbath day observance. I was very opinionated about what we should and should not do on Sunday. The problem? Football. Erick loves football. It is a true passion of his. He played in high school and in college. He has followed college and professional football most of his life. When his team plays on Sunday, he wants to watch it. I struggled with this. I felt like watching football on Sunday was a far cry from "keeping the Sabbath Day holy." Whenever he turned on the TV to watch a game or even check the score, I felt anger and bitterness toward him. (See? I told you I was difficult.)
During one of our discussions regarding this issue, Erick read me the eleventh Article of Faith, which states, "We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may." Erick taught me that this does not only refer to people outside of our own faith, but people who share our faith. We know the commandments. We have the counsel from our prophet. Now it is up to us to obey those commandments in the way that we see fit. His counsel has stayed with me.
Which of us was at greater fault? The one who turned on a television or the one who cast judgement and had anger in her heart? I realized that my anger was the cause of contention, not the football game. I love Erick very much. He is a good, honest, and kind man. He doesn't drink, smoke, cuss, or abuse. He serves others. He is tender and loving. He is an amazing, supportive husband and father. He does so much good. Why should I dwell on such an insignificant difference of opinion?
There have been other (fairly minor) things in life that we don't agree on. We are aware of our differing viewpoints, and we respect each other's opinions. But instead of judging one another, we strive be loving and tolerant. We have learned to agree to disagree. And I believe we are both better for it.
Tell me what you need
This one is kind of strange. It may not work for everyone, but it definitely works for us.
Long before I met Erick, I noticed that men (in general) were not always as observant as women wanted them to be. I had heard married friends and family say things like, "he should have known...," or "he didn't even notice..." when they were speaking about their husbands. These women would get outright angry, and their husbands would have no idea what they had done wrong.
When I met Erick, I decided to try an experiment of sorts. I told him exactly what I thought he should know or notice, and I told him what I wanted him to do about it. Does that make any sense at all? Probably not. Let me give you an example:
I call Erick on the phone before he gets home from work.
Erick: Hello?
Tera: Hi Erick. Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I got my hair cut today.
E: Okay.
T: When you get home, will you be sure to notice it and tell me how much you like it?
E: Sure. Thanks for the heads up.
T: You're welcome. Now don't forget.
E: I won't. Love you.
Believe it or not, my experiment worked. Both Erick and I love it, and we have continued to tell each other our needs and expectations throughout our marriage. Here's another one:
Another phone call
Erick: Hello?
Tera: Hey it's me.
E: How's your day?
T: Actually, it's been terrible. That's why I'm calling you. I am extremely emotional for some reason. I'm tired and I feel overworked and unappreciated.
E: I'm sorry.
T: Thanks Erick. When you get home, would you try to be extra nice? I need a little extra love.
E: Of course. I love you babe. I'll be home as soon as I can.
Like I said, this may not work for everyone, but it has definitely saved us from the stress and frustration that many couples feel. Believe it or not, the love or praise that he gives me is just as sweet as if he thought of it himself. I get exactly what I need, and he doesn't have to wonder how I'm going to react to him when he gets home.
Date
"Continue to date your spouse even after you are married." I'm sure you've heard it a million times. Erick and I have interpreted this one a little differently because of our varied situations in life.
There were many times in our marriage when we could not afford to go out on a date. We couldn't even afford a babysitter. So we stayed in. Our focus was finding alone time together. We made it a point to put the kids to bed and spend quality one-on-one time together. Some nights we would just talk over a bowl of ice cream. My favorite date night was eating dinner picnic style in the middle of the family room floor and then watching a movie together. Easy. Free.
There was a time when Erick was striving to start his own landscaping business. He worked long grueling hours. He was gone before the kids and I woke up in the morning and came home long after we had gone to bed. There was little time for us to be alone together. I believe that this time could have damaged our relationship had we not desperately worked to demonstrate our love for one another.
Instead of spending a lot of time together, we looked for ways to serve each other. I would make him a special lunch and take it to him at his job site. I would make sure to have the house clean and stress free and have a good meal waiting for him when he got home. It was in the fridge and had to be reheated, but it was ready on a plate for him. Occasionally, Erick found the energy to do the dishes that I had left in the sink at the end of an exhausting day. These little things seemed huge at the time. I loved him more during this time than I ever had before.
>
Instead of spending a lot of time together, we looked for ways to serve each other. I would make him a special lunch and take it to him at his job site. I would make sure to have the house clean and stress free and have a good meal waiting for him when he got home. It was in the fridge and had to be reheated, but it was ready on a plate for him. Occasionally, Erick found the energy to do the dishes that I had left in the sink at the end of an exhausting day. These little things seemed huge at the time. I loved him more during this time than I ever had before.
>
Today it's even harder to find time alone together. Erick is deployed for the year to Afghanistan. He is in a dangerous and primitive area that has sporadic and slow internet. I think dating now is more important than ever. But how? It's all about setting aside time for each other. This may sound crazy, but we cyber date. Through email, we share ideas and hopes and experiences. We discuss the children and make plans. We compliment each other and challenge each other. Despite our physical distance, he his right with me emotionally.I know that Erick and I still have many challenges ahead, but I'm sure that with a positive outlook and good communication, we will continue to grow closer every year.
Housewife MacGyver: Choose to Be Happy with Debra from Housewife Eclectic
Today I am beyond thrilled to have my best friend Debra here to share her wisdom with us. The only thing better than having her here on my blog would be having her here in my house instead of in the tropical land of Texas. :) She's the brains behind Housewife Eclectic and is the bee's knees, the cat's pajamas, the whole nine yards, and whatever other idiom you'd like to insert that means totally awesome. She's just finished a whole Month O' Pumpkins and is also hosting a super awesome giveaway, so go pay her a visit!
I remember when my husband and I were first married looking around our apartment and realizing we owned nothing new. Our couch had belonged to a member of my husband’s church. My mom had picked up our kitchen table at a yard sale and our washer and dryer were the ones that my parents had bought when they were first married more than 25 years earlier. We lived in a small apartment and hardly owned anything nice but we were really happy.
About a year into our marriage, the jealousy bug bit me. We went to visit a newly married friend in their new apartment and everything they had was gorgeous. They had chosen not to go on a honeymoon or have a reception, so they had a lot more money to decorate. I was suddenly no longer happy to just have a bed, couch and a washer of my own, I was bitter that my things weren’t as nice as theirs.
I eventually got over our apartment and went back to loving it for what it was, our first place together that we would always remember.
My husband and I have joked throughout our whole marriage that we are the unluckiest people we know. The star don’t align for us, ever usually. We worked hard all through college, often forgoing sleep to earn a little extra money or study a little longer, while many people we knew had parents paying for their college. Our jobs in college were both contingent on being students, so we lost our jobs the day we graduated, five days after we welcomed our beautiful daughter into the world. The economy had begun its steep decline just months before, so it was more than 9 months before we ever saw another paycheck. I could go on and list the health problems that have plagued us and other misfortunes.
Now I don’t say any of this to make people feel sorry for us -- I am sure everybody has their share of misfortune -- but to help you understand how frustrated I was with our lives. We watch miraculous jobs fall into people's laps in their hometowns while we had to move thousands of miles away for my husband to get employment. So by the time we made it to our new house in Texas, I was bitter again. I had just left the state I had lived in all my life, my parents and my best friend to live in what I thought was the worst place in the world. After a couple of months of crying on the phone to my mom, she begged me to try to be happy. Pretend to be happy for a week and see how it goes.
That night when my husband walked into the house there was dinner on the stove and I was dancing with our baby in the kitchen. He stopped and searched my face for the tears he thought had to be hidden there but I was determined that he wasn’t going to find them, even though I was crying inside. We sat down at dinner and ended up talking and laughing for hours. As I laid down to go to bed that night, I realized that for the first time in Texas, I was genuinely happy.
Now in the two years since that night, I have had to choose to be happy over and over again.
The days that huge medical bills have landed on us, I have chosen to not let something I can’t change upset me.
On the days my child won’t stop being defiant, I have chosen to play with her and let her know how truly loved she is.
On the days I have felt like crying, I have cried and then picked myself up again and decided to be happy.
Happiness is a choice, sometimes a really hard one, but one that gets easier and more wonderful the harder you try at it. Is our life better now? In some ways, yes, but even if it isn’t, it SEEMS better because I have chosen to be happy about it.
Happiness is always a choice. Stop wasting your life away wishing for something in the future. Stop saying you will be happy when you get that raise, or you baby sleeps through the night. If you keep saying that when the deadline comes for being happy you will just find another deadline to push your happiness to. Choose to be happy and choose to be happy now.
This post is part of the Housewife MacGyver series on just Lu. Read more about Housewife MacGyver and see all the posts in the series here.
I remember when my husband and I were first married looking around our apartment and realizing we owned nothing new. Our couch had belonged to a member of my husband’s church. My mom had picked up our kitchen table at a yard sale and our washer and dryer were the ones that my parents had bought when they were first married more than 25 years earlier. We lived in a small apartment and hardly owned anything nice but we were really happy.
About a year into our marriage, the jealousy bug bit me. We went to visit a newly married friend in their new apartment and everything they had was gorgeous. They had chosen not to go on a honeymoon or have a reception, so they had a lot more money to decorate. I was suddenly no longer happy to just have a bed, couch and a washer of my own, I was bitter that my things weren’t as nice as theirs.
I eventually got over our apartment and went back to loving it for what it was, our first place together that we would always remember.
My husband and I have joked throughout our whole marriage that we are the unluckiest people we know. The star don’t align for us, ever usually. We worked hard all through college, often forgoing sleep to earn a little extra money or study a little longer, while many people we knew had parents paying for their college. Our jobs in college were both contingent on being students, so we lost our jobs the day we graduated, five days after we welcomed our beautiful daughter into the world. The economy had begun its steep decline just months before, so it was more than 9 months before we ever saw another paycheck. I could go on and list the health problems that have plagued us and other misfortunes.
Now I don’t say any of this to make people feel sorry for us -- I am sure everybody has their share of misfortune -- but to help you understand how frustrated I was with our lives. We watch miraculous jobs fall into people's laps in their hometowns while we had to move thousands of miles away for my husband to get employment. So by the time we made it to our new house in Texas, I was bitter again. I had just left the state I had lived in all my life, my parents and my best friend to live in what I thought was the worst place in the world. After a couple of months of crying on the phone to my mom, she begged me to try to be happy. Pretend to be happy for a week and see how it goes.
That night when my husband walked into the house there was dinner on the stove and I was dancing with our baby in the kitchen. He stopped and searched my face for the tears he thought had to be hidden there but I was determined that he wasn’t going to find them, even though I was crying inside. We sat down at dinner and ended up talking and laughing for hours. As I laid down to go to bed that night, I realized that for the first time in Texas, I was genuinely happy.
Now in the two years since that night, I have had to choose to be happy over and over again.
The days that huge medical bills have landed on us, I have chosen to not let something I can’t change upset me.
On the days my child won’t stop being defiant, I have chosen to play with her and let her know how truly loved she is.
On the days I have felt like crying, I have cried and then picked myself up again and decided to be happy.
Happiness is a choice, sometimes a really hard one, but one that gets easier and more wonderful the harder you try at it. Is our life better now? In some ways, yes, but even if it isn’t, it SEEMS better because I have chosen to be happy about it.
Happiness is always a choice. Stop wasting your life away wishing for something in the future. Stop saying you will be happy when you get that raise, or you baby sleeps through the night. If you keep saying that when the deadline comes for being happy you will just find another deadline to push your happiness to. Choose to be happy and choose to be happy now.
 |
| free printable from kiki creates |
Housewife MacGyver: After all that we can do...
Last Sunday evening, my husband and I noticed that a house that we had looked at and been very interested in was back on the market. We had LOVED the house and seriously considered putting in an offer, but, for multiple reasons, we hadn't.
Seeing it back on the market, we felt like maybe this was a divine sign that this was the house we were supposed to have... so, first thing Monday morning, we had our realtor draw up papers and I spent the morning running around to get the papers filled out -- to my parents' house to use their printer since ours was out of ink, to my husband's school to catch him on his lunch hour so he could sign each page, and then, thankfully, just to the office of his school to fax them (thank you, nice secretary!) -- all in the lunch and naptime hour.
And then, that afternoon, a call from the realtor: We didn't get the house. The sellers didn't even LOOK at our offer.
All of that work.... all of that feeling of divine intervention... for nothing??
I hung up the phone and shed a couple of tears while preparing dinner -- completely frustrated. Why did we even bother going through all of that running around and paperwork?
As I chopped the garlic for dinner, a thought came to me. Not necessarily an answer, but a comfort nonetheless:
After ALL that we can do. With this house that we love, we've done all that we can do, and now we have to continue on in faith and leave it in the Lord's hands, knowing that He loves us and He wants us to be happy, but also knowing that He expects us to do our very best, to work for the worthwhile things in life. Even the strongest belief can't help you win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket. :)
The concept of doing all that we can applies both to spiritual topics as well as to topics of everyday emotional and mental well-being -- which are often very hard to separate. :)
As a parent, I teach my children and love them and do all that I can for them to teach them correct principles, to raise them to be respectful and kind, to help them to not embarrass themselves (or me) in public. But there comes a point when I have done all that I can do and I have to let them exercise their agency and make their own mistakes -- and hope that they will learn to trust our Heavenly Father so that he can make up for where I lack. (My little babies won't be fully on their own for quite a while, though. :)
As a wife, I do all that I can do love my husband and keep our marriage strong. I cannot preserve and sanctify our marriage on my own. For our marriage to be its best, my husband also needs to be doing all that he can do. And, in turn, as we both do our very best and do all that we can, we rely on the Lord to help us as well.
As a follower of Christ, I do all that I can do live the best and most virtuous life that I can, repenting and then relying on Christ's atonement to span the gap between my best and the perfection that is necessary for me to return to His presence.
Right now, I don't know why things work out the way they do, why we would feel so strongly about that house for naught. Maybe at some point I will know, but maybe not. That's not so important. What's important is knowing that I've done my best. And what's more MacGyver than that? :)
This post is part of the Housewife MacGyver series on just Lu. Read more about Housewife MacGyver and see all the posts in the series here.
Seeing it back on the market, we felt like maybe this was a divine sign that this was the house we were supposed to have... so, first thing Monday morning, we had our realtor draw up papers and I spent the morning running around to get the papers filled out -- to my parents' house to use their printer since ours was out of ink, to my husband's school to catch him on his lunch hour so he could sign each page, and then, thankfully, just to the office of his school to fax them (thank you, nice secretary!) -- all in the lunch and naptime hour.
And then, that afternoon, a call from the realtor: We didn't get the house. The sellers didn't even LOOK at our offer.
All of that work.... all of that feeling of divine intervention... for nothing??
I hung up the phone and shed a couple of tears while preparing dinner -- completely frustrated. Why did we even bother going through all of that running around and paperwork?
As I chopped the garlic for dinner, a thought came to me. Not necessarily an answer, but a comfort nonetheless:
...for we know that it is by bgrace that we are saved, after all we can cdo. (2 Ne 25:23)
After ALL that we can do. With this house that we love, we've done all that we can do, and now we have to continue on in faith and leave it in the Lord's hands, knowing that He loves us and He wants us to be happy, but also knowing that He expects us to do our very best, to work for the worthwhile things in life. Even the strongest belief can't help you win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket. :)
The concept of doing all that we can applies both to spiritual topics as well as to topics of everyday emotional and mental well-being -- which are often very hard to separate. :)
As a parent, I teach my children and love them and do all that I can for them to teach them correct principles, to raise them to be respectful and kind, to help them to not embarrass themselves (or me) in public. But there comes a point when I have done all that I can do and I have to let them exercise their agency and make their own mistakes -- and hope that they will learn to trust our Heavenly Father so that he can make up for where I lack. (My little babies won't be fully on their own for quite a while, though. :)
As a wife, I do all that I can do love my husband and keep our marriage strong. I cannot preserve and sanctify our marriage on my own. For our marriage to be its best, my husband also needs to be doing all that he can do. And, in turn, as we both do our very best and do all that we can, we rely on the Lord to help us as well.
As a follower of Christ, I do all that I can do live the best and most virtuous life that I can, repenting and then relying on Christ's atonement to span the gap between my best and the perfection that is necessary for me to return to His presence.
Right now, I don't know why things work out the way they do, why we would feel so strongly about that house for naught. Maybe at some point I will know, but maybe not. That's not so important. What's important is knowing that I've done my best. And what's more MacGyver than that? :)
Housewife MacGyver: The Disease of Social Comparison by Keira
I'm so excited today to have Keira again! Give her a nice warm welcome back...
Hello again! I'm Keira, a frequent guest-poster at Just Lu. This is a copy of my original post: The Disease of Social Comparison. Although I never did enjoy hating my body for its tiny imperfections that I magnified my entire life, becoming a mother brought this depressing habit to the forefront of my mind for the past year. This is a modified post, intended to label for clarity what we do everyday, and hopefully we can all come up with ways to change it.
This post is part of the Housewife MacGyver series on just Lu. Read more about Housewife MacGyver and see all the posts in the series here.
Hello again! I'm Keira, a frequent guest-poster at Just Lu. This is a copy of my original post: The Disease of Social Comparison. Although I never did enjoy hating my body for its tiny imperfections that I magnified my entire life, becoming a mother brought this depressing habit to the forefront of my mind for the past year. This is a modified post, intended to label for clarity what we do everyday, and hopefully we can all come up with ways to change it.
As a Psychology major, I am required to take Social Psychology, a class that has really opened my mind to a new, deliberate way of thinking. I absolutely love the insights I gain in college that I can now use throughout my whole life, things that are qualified as "the world's knowledge", but actually display vividly the truths of the Savior's teachings.
One of those psychological findings that has shown over and over again to actively depress people is just what my title states--social comparison. You are guaranteed to be a pessimist and are many times more likely to be depressed when you compare yourself to others. Not to mention the things we ALL know are true, research or not--you just feel like garbage whenever you do it, whether you compare up or down.
Whether it be someone in front of you in line at the checkout or a celebrity in a movie you'll never meet, we are always comparing, and we're obviously not any happier. Not only is it unfair, but in a comparison, someone wins, and someone loses. We are often the losers, since we know our faults and insecurities better than anyone else, and we compare to what others present in public. Comparing their best to your worst? You lose, every time.
Why do we compare, then?
Because it's addictive.
It becomes a compulsion with enough time.
Although you may only "win" one out of every five comparisons (or one out of every thousand!), the addictive part is that we win at all. Just as gamblers in a card game will win once or twice in a whole night, but end up badly in debt waiting for the next stroke of luck, so we compare ourselves endlessly, hoping for our stroke of luck. And do we have one? Of course!
There is always someone worse off than us--health issues, family dysfunction, lack of faith or joy in their lives, less education or experience, and someone is always not as well off and is wearing last year's styles. But just as there is always someone who we can look down on, there are a myriad of people who we can look up to in envy and quietly hate. Even if you lose the comparison, it feeds our pride to lose in one area (income) but gain in another (beauty), thus affording us a back-door "win".
But you know what's funny about winning and losing? It means that we are at war. When you compare yourself with another person, hoping to win (whether you do or not), you have committed an act of psychological violence on that person. Yes, even that completely oblivious woman standing in front of you in the grocery line. What is so significant about doing something to someone who is not affected and has no idea you are using psychological warfare?
It makes you a warrior.
With everyone you meet.
We women (and men) are targeted enough by the media and advertising. They strive to keep us unhappy so we will buy their products. They encourage this competition because it is profitable. And while it may take some effort and time to correct society as a whole, what we can do, right now, TODAY, is put down our weapons. Let's stop being warriors and start being comrades.
What I need help with is the how.
How do we cure this disease that permeates our (even casual!) relationships, and sickens our minds and hearts?
How do YOU suggest we become comrades? It is so easy to compare with blogs and Facebook, where every moment of life is documented--including how you looked one month after birth! It's easy to compare when we are told that perfection IS attainable--just buy _______. It's easy to compare when current instant communication keeps us distanced from people, where real change can occur. What do we do?
And by the way, this theory doesn't just apply to the interaction with one another. It also applies to how we treat ourselves. Every time you pass in front of that mirror and see your flaws and calculate them in a split second (I'm right with you all, I do it, too, unfortunately), you are at war on yourself.
Sometimes, I get so caught up in looking at myself or others that way, that I literally have to scream in my mind, "STOP!" I have to admit, it is a long-ingrained habit that I fight every time I pass a reflective surface! Isn't that just awful?
How can we all be kinder to ourselves and each other? How can we create meaningful relationships with other women that never surround a number on a scale or what we ate that day? I would love to hear your suggestions and examples! What do you do when the media insists on war?
And in case you need ideas or encouragement, I have a spiritual, emotional, AND cognitive-behavioral answer of my own here.
One of those psychological findings that has shown over and over again to actively depress people is just what my title states--social comparison. You are guaranteed to be a pessimist and are many times more likely to be depressed when you compare yourself to others. Not to mention the things we ALL know are true, research or not--you just feel like garbage whenever you do it, whether you compare up or down.
Whether it be someone in front of you in line at the checkout or a celebrity in a movie you'll never meet, we are always comparing, and we're obviously not any happier. Not only is it unfair, but in a comparison, someone wins, and someone loses. We are often the losers, since we know our faults and insecurities better than anyone else, and we compare to what others present in public. Comparing their best to your worst? You lose, every time.
Why do we compare, then?
Because it's addictive.
It becomes a compulsion with enough time.
Although you may only "win" one out of every five comparisons (or one out of every thousand!), the addictive part is that we win at all. Just as gamblers in a card game will win once or twice in a whole night, but end up badly in debt waiting for the next stroke of luck, so we compare ourselves endlessly, hoping for our stroke of luck. And do we have one? Of course!
There is always someone worse off than us--health issues, family dysfunction, lack of faith or joy in their lives, less education or experience, and someone is always not as well off and is wearing last year's styles. But just as there is always someone who we can look down on, there are a myriad of people who we can look up to in envy and quietly hate. Even if you lose the comparison, it feeds our pride to lose in one area (income) but gain in another (beauty), thus affording us a back-door "win".
But you know what's funny about winning and losing? It means that we are at war. When you compare yourself with another person, hoping to win (whether you do or not), you have committed an act of psychological violence on that person. Yes, even that completely oblivious woman standing in front of you in the grocery line. What is so significant about doing something to someone who is not affected and has no idea you are using psychological warfare?
It makes you a warrior.
With everyone you meet.
We women (and men) are targeted enough by the media and advertising. They strive to keep us unhappy so we will buy their products. They encourage this competition because it is profitable. And while it may take some effort and time to correct society as a whole, what we can do, right now, TODAY, is put down our weapons. Let's stop being warriors and start being comrades.
What I need help with is the how.
How do we cure this disease that permeates our (even casual!) relationships, and sickens our minds and hearts?
How do YOU suggest we become comrades? It is so easy to compare with blogs and Facebook, where every moment of life is documented--including how you looked one month after birth! It's easy to compare when we are told that perfection IS attainable--just buy _______. It's easy to compare when current instant communication keeps us distanced from people, where real change can occur. What do we do?
And by the way, this theory doesn't just apply to the interaction with one another. It also applies to how we treat ourselves. Every time you pass in front of that mirror and see your flaws and calculate them in a split second (I'm right with you all, I do it, too, unfortunately), you are at war on yourself.
Sometimes, I get so caught up in looking at myself or others that way, that I literally have to scream in my mind, "STOP!" I have to admit, it is a long-ingrained habit that I fight every time I pass a reflective surface! Isn't that just awful?
How can we all be kinder to ourselves and each other? How can we create meaningful relationships with other women that never surround a number on a scale or what we ate that day? I would love to hear your suggestions and examples! What do you do when the media insists on war?
And in case you need ideas or encouragement, I have a spiritual, emotional, AND cognitive-behavioral answer of my own here.
Housewife MacGyver: Not-so-SELF-reliance with Heather
Here to add her two cents to the discussion about self-(or not)-reliance this month is my dear friend Heather. On top of being incredibly creative and awesome, Heather is one of the sweetest and kindest people I know. I'm so happy to have her here today to share!
Hey! I'm Heather. I document my lives adventures over at The Many Adventures of Heather and Squidget. I love a good laugh, being creative, clearance racks, and my wonderful little family. You can hop on over some time to see craft ideas, recipes, and stories of the crazy things that always seem to happen :) I am excited to share my thoughts with you today. My life has been full of some pretty big challenges, and I would love to be able to use what I have learned to help make those kinds of things easier for anyone who might be going through them.
I enjoy my life for the most part, but sometimes things just become more than I can take. I am sure we have all had these moments. Just when you need to be out the door, you look down to find that you're wearing the contents of your fridge on your clothing, you drop a nice hot pan of something you have carefully prepared on the floor and burn yourself AND have to throw it all away. You discover your favorite piece of clothing no longer fits. These things happen to all of us, and we can usually cope pretty well with one or two at a time, but on occasion, life starts piling it on.
Sometimes I really feel like Lucille Ball in the episode of I Love Lucy where she gets a job at the chocolate factory. She does all right putting the chocolates in the boxes even though it is challenging. But every time she thinks she might just have a hang of things, they speed up the conveyor belt. Lucy does every thing she can think of to try and deal with the onslaught of chocolates. She tries eating them and even puts them in her hat and clothing. And in the end Lucy looses the job.
We are at the end of that conveyor belt sometimes when it's turned up to extra super fast mode. One thing after another goes wrong and it just does not seem to stop. It would be nice if our problems were as easy to deal with as chocolates (they sure would be a whole lot tastier :)
The fact is sometimes, we can't succeed on our own. We need help!
You may have heard the saying "When life gets to hard to stand, get on your knees". I find that there is great wisdom in this advice. We can all have help from our Heavenly Father any time we need it. He is never too busy. He always listens. He loves each one of us and wants us to be happy. If we ask him for the strength we need, he will help us accomplish great things. He can heal broken hearts and lead others to our aid. Reading his words in the Bible and Book of Mormon are also His way of comforting and helping us in our times of need. He is ready and willing to bless and help us, all we need to do is ask.
We also need to know when it's time to ask for help from others. It can be such a scary thing to do. It seems we need to put on a good face for people, even when we are a mess behind closed doors. Even though asking others for help seems like not taking care of ourselves, remember it takes a brave and wise person to admit when they can no longer do something alone.
We need to do our part to help ourselves by letting those who can help us know we are struggling. Church leaders, family and friends all love us. More often than not people are overjoyed to be able to lend us aid. People can receive blessings in their own lives by serving others, so when it is our turn to need help, we shouldn't deny others the opportunity to serve us. It can also help us grow closer to those serving us.
We are not alone. We are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us and knows us perfectly. He wants to bless us, all we need to do is ask. Our answered prayers may come as a quiet comforting moment, or a feeling in our heart. They may also be answered through the people in our lives, whether a smiling store clerk or a loved one who calls at just the right time, they are blessings from our loving Father.
Don't go it alone. Don't struggle by yourself. Don't believe the lie that your problems are not important enough to deserve the help you need. Open your heart to those whom you love and trust and let them help you. No matter what kinds of troubles life throws your way, monumental or minuscule, physical or emotional, financial or spiritual, chocolate related :) or otherwise, you NEVER have to face it alone.
Thanks, Heather! Heather and I were neighbors in a former life, and often the heaven-sent smiling face for me was hers! Stop by The Many Adventures of Heather and Squidget to hear more from Heather and check out her super cute (and easy) crafts.
This post is part of the Housewife MacGyver series on just Lu. Read more about Housewife MacGyver and see all the posts in the series here.
Hey! I'm Heather. I document my lives adventures over at The Many Adventures of Heather and Squidget. I love a good laugh, being creative, clearance racks, and my wonderful little family. You can hop on over some time to see craft ideas, recipes, and stories of the crazy things that always seem to happen :) I am excited to share my thoughts with you today. My life has been full of some pretty big challenges, and I would love to be able to use what I have learned to help make those kinds of things easier for anyone who might be going through them.I enjoy my life for the most part, but sometimes things just become more than I can take. I am sure we have all had these moments. Just when you need to be out the door, you look down to find that you're wearing the contents of your fridge on your clothing, you drop a nice hot pan of something you have carefully prepared on the floor and burn yourself AND have to throw it all away. You discover your favorite piece of clothing no longer fits. These things happen to all of us, and we can usually cope pretty well with one or two at a time, but on occasion, life starts piling it on.
We are at the end of that conveyor belt sometimes when it's turned up to extra super fast mode. One thing after another goes wrong and it just does not seem to stop. It would be nice if our problems were as easy to deal with as chocolates (they sure would be a whole lot tastier :)
The fact is sometimes, we can't succeed on our own. We need help!
You may have heard the saying "When life gets to hard to stand, get on your knees". I find that there is great wisdom in this advice. We can all have help from our Heavenly Father any time we need it. He is never too busy. He always listens. He loves each one of us and wants us to be happy. If we ask him for the strength we need, he will help us accomplish great things. He can heal broken hearts and lead others to our aid. Reading his words in the Bible and Book of Mormon are also His way of comforting and helping us in our times of need. He is ready and willing to bless and help us, all we need to do is ask.
We also need to know when it's time to ask for help from others. It can be such a scary thing to do. It seems we need to put on a good face for people, even when we are a mess behind closed doors. Even though asking others for help seems like not taking care of ourselves, remember it takes a brave and wise person to admit when they can no longer do something alone.
We need to do our part to help ourselves by letting those who can help us know we are struggling. Church leaders, family and friends all love us. More often than not people are overjoyed to be able to lend us aid. People can receive blessings in their own lives by serving others, so when it is our turn to need help, we shouldn't deny others the opportunity to serve us. It can also help us grow closer to those serving us.
We are not alone. We are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us and knows us perfectly. He wants to bless us, all we need to do is ask. Our answered prayers may come as a quiet comforting moment, or a feeling in our heart. They may also be answered through the people in our lives, whether a smiling store clerk or a loved one who calls at just the right time, they are blessings from our loving Father.
Don't go it alone. Don't struggle by yourself. Don't believe the lie that your problems are not important enough to deserve the help you need. Open your heart to those whom you love and trust and let them help you. No matter what kinds of troubles life throws your way, monumental or minuscule, physical or emotional, financial or spiritual, chocolate related :) or otherwise, you NEVER have to face it alone.
Thanks, Heather! Heather and I were neighbors in a former life, and often the heaven-sent smiling face for me was hers! Stop by The Many Adventures of Heather and Squidget to hear more from Heather and check out her super cute (and easy) crafts.
This post is part of the Housewife MacGyver series on just Lu. Read more about Housewife MacGyver and see all the posts in the series here.
Housewife MacGyver: Gaining and Bearing Testimony {The Book of Mormon}
As I mentioned in my earlier post, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My friend, Jocelyn, is hosting a fantastic segment right now, called the Book of Mormon Forum wherein members of the LDS church share their belief in and testimonies of the Book of Mormon and answer questions about the book.
I debated about including my testimony of the Book of Mormon here as part of the Housewife MacGyver series. How does my personal testimony of this sacred book relate to the aims of Housewife MacGyver, of helping each person reading to improve his/her relationship with God? I thought. And then the answer came: Because each individual's testimony comes through developing a relationship with God. Regardless of belief, testimony -- that which inspires action because of belief -- must come from a supreme being, whom I call God.
As a member of the LDS Church -- a Mormon -- I believe that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God in the same manner that as I know that the Bible is the word of God -- because I have acted on their teachings and prayed to know of their truth, and received powerful confirmation through the Spirit.
Both books of scripture declare that by their fruits ye shall know them:
As I have read and acted upon the teachings of the Book of Mormon, the fruits of those teachings have been made apparent.
I struggle with daily scripture study. But as I study diligently and make the word of God a priority in my life, I see the fruits of that labor, the blessings of obedience to His words.
Daily scripture study doesn't become any easier, but it becomes more meaningful. Daily life doesn't necessarily become easier, but it becomes less overwhelming as my ability to cope is increased, as I have His help in my trials.
When I read the Book of Mormon, I find peace amidst the chaos of everyday life. I find that there is more to enjoy in life, because I am noticing the hand of God in my life, not because it wasn't there before. I find that there is more joy, more calm, more love, and more fun in our home when we are studying the Book of Mormon regularly and applying its teachings.
As we read, we learn of faith in Jesus Christ, and of the protection that faith brings to us. We learn of love and of service. We learn of prayer, of repentance and forgiveness through the atonement of Christ.
As we act upon these teachings, we become more like our Savior Jesus Christ -- more loving, more patient, more selfless, and more dedicated to doing the work of our Father in Heaven. In short, as we follow the teachings of Christ, as we do good, we become good.
Every good tree bringeth forth good fruit.
If you have questions about the Book of Mormon or my beliefs as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please leave a comment or email me at iamjustlu@gmail.com. If you're interested in receiving a complimentary copy of the Book of Mormon to read for yourself, I would love to send one your way, along with my testimony and a special copy of The Ensign magazine explaining the origins of the Book of Mormon.
Learn more about the Book of Mormon here at mormon.org.
Learn more about this Housewife MacGyver segment here and the entire Housewife MacGyver series here.
Read more testimonies of the Book of Mormon through the blog-hop:
I debated about including my testimony of the Book of Mormon here as part of the Housewife MacGyver series. How does my personal testimony of this sacred book relate to the aims of Housewife MacGyver, of helping each person reading to improve his/her relationship with God? I thought. And then the answer came: Because each individual's testimony comes through developing a relationship with God. Regardless of belief, testimony -- that which inspires action because of belief -- must come from a supreme being, whom I call God.
As a member of the LDS Church -- a Mormon -- I believe that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God in the same manner that as I know that the Bible is the word of God -- because I have acted on their teachings and prayed to know of their truth, and received powerful confirmation through the Spirit.
Both books of scripture declare that by their fruits ye shall know them:
Even so every good tree bringeth forth agood bfruit; but a ccorrupt tree bringeth forth devil fruit.
see Matthew 7:17-20, 3 Nephi 14:17-20
As I have read and acted upon the teachings of the Book of Mormon, the fruits of those teachings have been made apparent.
I struggle with daily scripture study. But as I study diligently and make the word of God a priority in my life, I see the fruits of that labor, the blessings of obedience to His words.
Daily scripture study doesn't become any easier, but it becomes more meaningful. Daily life doesn't necessarily become easier, but it becomes less overwhelming as my ability to cope is increased, as I have His help in my trials.
When I read the Book of Mormon, I find peace amidst the chaos of everyday life. I find that there is more to enjoy in life, because I am noticing the hand of God in my life, not because it wasn't there before. I find that there is more joy, more calm, more love, and more fun in our home when we are studying the Book of Mormon regularly and applying its teachings.
As we read, we learn of faith in Jesus Christ, and of the protection that faith brings to us. We learn of love and of service. We learn of prayer, of repentance and forgiveness through the atonement of Christ.
As we act upon these teachings, we become more like our Savior Jesus Christ -- more loving, more patient, more selfless, and more dedicated to doing the work of our Father in Heaven. In short, as we follow the teachings of Christ, as we do good, we become good.
Every good tree bringeth forth good fruit.
If you have questions about the Book of Mormon or my beliefs as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please leave a comment or email me at iamjustlu@gmail.com. If you're interested in receiving a complimentary copy of the Book of Mormon to read for yourself, I would love to send one your way, along with my testimony and a special copy of The Ensign magazine explaining the origins of the Book of Mormon.
Learn more about the Book of Mormon here at mormon.org.
Learn more about this Housewife MacGyver segment here and the entire Housewife MacGyver series here.
Read more testimonies of the Book of Mormon through the blog-hop:
Becoming the Housewife MacGyver SPIRITUALLY & EMOTIONALLY
We've come to the final segment of Housewife MacGyver... what a year it has been! Hopefully you have learned as much as I've learned and added a few tricks to your MacGyver bag... if you need to review, pop over here to see all of the Housewife MacGyver posts.
Our final segment here is all about becoming more self-reliant spiritually and emotionally, which is a far cry different from the other segments we've had this year! I saved these topics for last partly because I wasn't sure how to approach them when we started this, and mostly because I feel that they are the most important.
After all, what good is a organized, prepared household if we are deficient spiritually and emotionally? A full pantry and a balanced budget can't compare to a happy house full of love. :)
We have some great guests lined up this month who I can't wait for you to meet -- and you can still be among them if you'd like! Just email me at iamjustlu@gmail.com. I'd love to have you share your thoughts and experiences about being/becoming/trying our very best to be spiritually and emotionally self-reliant.
I hesitate to say self-reliant, however, because when it comes to our spiritual and emotional well-being, it isn't about SELF. It's about relationships. Other people. Not just me-myself-and-I.
So that's really the focus of this month... talking about how we develop, maintain, and improve our relationships with God, our families, and the other important people in our lives.
Originally, these two (spiritual and emotional self-reliance) were planned as two separate topics. But as I thought more about it, they are hard to separate. Maybe it's just me, but I struggle to talk about my relationships with my family members, and the importance of those relationships, without also talking about the influence that my Father in Heaven and my relationship with Him has on every other relationship in my life. I'll share more about my own feelings later (starting later today), but for now, just a word or two more about this topic...
First and most important: respect. We will most definitely be talking about religious beliefs, but I expect each of my invited guests and each of you as readers to be respectful of differences in beliefs and practices.
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the LDS church, often called the Mormon church). Most of you are probably not. But our differences should be a source of strength to us, not a source of contention or frustration. The next 6-ish weeks will hopefully be full of discussion of how to improve our families and relationships, regardless of which building we worship in. We can always learn from others even if we don't always agree with them. :)
So, let's get this party started! Tell me... how would you describe spiritual and/or emotional self-reliance? What does it look like to you in everyday life?
Housewife MacGyver: Everyday Emergency Preparedness... on the go
Oops! I'm a week behind on life... so even though it's October, we're going to finish out September's Housewife MacGyver in the car and then move on to October and becoming spiritually self-reliant starting next week. And please, drop me a line if you'd love to participate!
I grew up in a family where our cars were always prepared for your standard car emergencies: gas tank always at least half full and a tow rope, jumper cables, first aid kit and a blanket in the trunk, at a minimum.
I've continued these habits (mostly...) in our family cars since I've been married, and I've always been grateful to be prepared, even though I've never had occasion to use most of the contents of the emergency kit.
Previously, Tricia gave us some great links for how to jump start your car and create a roadside emergency kit. But how do we stay prepared and MacGyver-ish for those everyday emergencies, like errands taking longer than expected or a puking child or leaky diaper?
Enter the Everyday Emergency Kit.
Take ten minutes to think of the last few months of everyday out-and-about "emergencies" and what supplies you wished you would have had.
Then round up the items, tuck them in to a place mat car organizer like Debra showed us how to make, and toss it in your glove compartment or trunk. (If your supplies are too big for a place mat organizer, you might try a back of the seat organizer or putting the supplies in a small crate in the trunk.)
Here's what's on my list:
What's on your list for those everyday in-car emergencies?
This post is part of the Housewife MacGyver series on just Lu. Read more about Housewife MacGyver and see all the posts in the series here.
I grew up in a family where our cars were always prepared for your standard car emergencies: gas tank always at least half full and a tow rope, jumper cables, first aid kit and a blanket in the trunk, at a minimum.
I've continued these habits (mostly...) in our family cars since I've been married, and I've always been grateful to be prepared, even though I've never had occasion to use most of the contents of the emergency kit.
Previously, Tricia gave us some great links for how to jump start your car and create a roadside emergency kit. But how do we stay prepared and MacGyver-ish for those everyday emergencies, like errands taking longer than expected or a puking child or leaky diaper?
Enter the Everyday Emergency Kit.
Take ten minutes to think of the last few months of everyday out-and-about "emergencies" and what supplies you wished you would have had.
Then round up the items, tuck them in to a place mat car organizer like Debra showed us how to make, and toss it in your glove compartment or trunk. (If your supplies are too big for a place mat organizer, you might try a back of the seat organizer or putting the supplies in a small crate in the trunk.)
Here's what's on my list:
- grocery or garbage bags: for stinky diapers, wet clothes, puke, trash, rounding up the umpteen toys that your toddler has brought out to the car over the last 5 trips...
- extra diapers/wipes: sometimes I forget my diaper clutch. and sometimes the diaper clutch is just poorly stocked. but that is *always* when one child or the other has the mother of all bad diapers. plus wipes are good for cleaning up any sticky that is sure to happen when children are involved
- deodorant and tampons: yup, sometimes I forget to bring a spare or apply before I leave the house. but at least I've never forgotten a kid... that I recall
- granola bars or other durable snacks: for both my son and me, because when we are hungry, we are HUNgry and cranky. and that always hits 15 minutes before we're home
- pen and paper: useful for jotting down notes or stalling a screaming toddler when you're in line at the drive-through
- spare change: for parking, library fees, or happy hour at Sonic :)
- a blanket: for impromptu picnics at the park (fun!) or keeping a diaper-only child warm after a blowout (not so fun)
- duct tape: because it's just so MacGyver :)
What's on your list for those everyday in-car emergencies?
This post is part of the Housewife MacGyver series on just Lu. Read more about Housewife MacGyver and see all the posts in the series here.
Housewife MacGyver: Place Mat Car Organizer
Happy Monday! Today we have Debra from Housewife Eclectic, my BFF -- or is bestie the term to use when you're not texting and/or adolescent? whatever it is, she's the best :) -- and she's here sharing a cute and easy craft for your car. You'll love it and want to make one in every color... so here's Debra:
Hi friends, I am Debra of Housewife Eclectic, where Lu shares her web knowledge weekly. I wear many hats, crafter, photographer, mother to an almost 3 year-old, avid reader, writer, baker and a bunch of others that I only pull out for special occasions. I am excited to be here to share a easy and wonderful craft with you guys today.
We all like to be prepared in case of an emergency and the car is no exception. This glove box sized organizer is made from a place mat and holds your insurance cards, a pen, a tire pressure gauge, small notepad, scissors and a flashlight.
In order to make your organizer you will need a place mat, a hair elastic or elastic headband and the items you want to include in your organizer for measuring purposes.
Take your place mat and fold it up about a third of the way.
If you want a card pocket, fold down the corner. Sew the corner down first. Do NOT SEW it down to the large section/back of the organizer, just to your front third that you folded up. This pocket is perfect for your insurance card.
Then lay your objects into the fold to see how much room they need. I sewed a seam right besides my folder corner, then I placed my notepad in the center of my place mat and mark how much room I would need on either side of it. After sewing your large pocket for the notepad, I took the left over space on the right side and sewed a seam down the middle to give it too even sized pockets. Those pockets are the right size for a lot of items, like pens and your tire pressure gauge.
After you are done sewing your pockets, fold up the organizer around the middle panel and mark where your hair elastic needs to go. I used a head band and had to cut a couple inches of length off of it to make it fit snugly. Go over the hair elastic multiple times to get it secure and you have complete organizer. This quick project can be made in just a few minutes time and is perfect for a beginning sewer, so pick up a place mat at the dollar store and organize your glove box!
Now you want one in every color, right? I told you that you would ;) And this is the perfect place to store your log of car maintenance that Tricia told us about last week!
And stop by and say hello to Debra over at Housewife Eclectic. She's pretty much da bomb in every way - she crafty, shares amazing recipes, and is a fantastic photographer to boot -- and nice enough to share her photo tips once a week. :)
This post is part of the Housewife MacGyver series on just Lu. Read more about Housewife MacGyver and see all the posts in the series here.
Hi friends, I am Debra of Housewife Eclectic, where Lu shares her web knowledge weekly. I wear many hats, crafter, photographer, mother to an almost 3 year-old, avid reader, writer, baker and a bunch of others that I only pull out for special occasions. I am excited to be here to share a easy and wonderful craft with you guys today.
We all like to be prepared in case of an emergency and the car is no exception. This glove box sized organizer is made from a place mat and holds your insurance cards, a pen, a tire pressure gauge, small notepad, scissors and a flashlight.
Now you want one in every color, right? I told you that you would ;) And this is the perfect place to store your log of car maintenance that Tricia told us about last week!
And stop by and say hello to Debra over at Housewife Eclectic. She's pretty much da bomb in every way - she crafty, shares amazing recipes, and is a fantastic photographer to boot -- and nice enough to share her photo tips once a week. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
